Adventures of Barbarella

Dear Agent Provocateur & Ann Summers,

Good luck getting me to buy lingerie when you keep putting my boyfriend's exes all over your catalogs!

xoxo

 

 Diana

Dear François Nars,

Why do your lip glosses stink so horribly of rancid crayons?

Who's idea was it, and can we contact/hang that person?

Please tell us why, either way.

Regards xoxo

Diana

Dear Agent Provocateur,

I love visiting you, and I agree with most of your choice of kinky-wear. But there's always one or two items in the collection that seem to have been designed by a 5 year old boy on crack . Like, what is this?
 

 

a Wonderwoman rodeo rider sheriff in tie-up platforms...??

Take it away!

with love,

Diana

  

Dear Bobbi Brown,

We do not need 4,968,473 shades of brown gel liner. However, we DO need at least one blue-based neutral. Please make it happen, and until then don't dare release another twist on "Sepia" !

Respectfully,


Diana

Plead to jean designers

My hips don't fit in your 24 size. When they do, the pants are huge on the legs. I don't have fat legs and don't want to, either. So please...less fabric for the legs, more fabric for my bum.

Thank you.

xoxo

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Dear high-waist-jeans makers,

I have NEVER been able to buy one of your jeans. My waist-hip ratio is the one thing I like about myself. So please, less fabric on the waist, and more fabric for my hips.

xoxo

Diana