Adventures of Barbarella

Attention

Very Important Sweatshirt.

 

Let's take a look at the state of my sofa for fun, shall we

Firmly awake at 1am. I shouldn't have had that espresso earlier.

Now I'm here sitting in a wig combing my hair. 

 

Too tempting

I'm considering getting a bicycle

I've realised that if I do get a bicycle, I'll need:

- Lights
- A leopard print helmet



- Insurance
- A mirror (to see the cars behind me, and to look at myself. Make that two mirrors facing in different directions)
- A pretty good lock (otherwise insurance doesn't cover)
- Another lock (they say 2 locks are safer. Heard this from a criminal)
- a wicker basket for my groceries. If necessary I'll always carry a banana to pretend I had groceries
- a louis vuitton backpack
- a messenger bag from lanvin (I hate backpacks!)
- a new biker jacket
- leather tassles
- a carrier seat for my rubber ducks

- A body armor

 

I have the audacity of cataloguing this post under "Exercise".

 

 

I'm hanging this right at the entrance of my flat:

This to write down important things. (I am very forgetful)

This to communicate with my flatmate:



This is for our projects:

How to help japan

Sent from my iPhone

A reader and friend sent me this

I always love getting funny things!

And you know what? Moustaches are becoming trendy, FAST

Sent from my iPhone

too tempting

A whole lot of illegal floor to walk on!

Sent from my iPhone

"Diana's favourite inventions of all time" by Austin (Illustrated by Diana)

1. The tea kettle

2. The hot water tank

3. The synthesizer

4. The guitar

5. Fabric

6. Headphones

7. Soap

8. The bikini

9. Yoga mat

10 Pencil crayons

 

How to blow your nose (for snobs)

1. Find a Manolo Blahnik hankie from Liberty

2. Blow

From Charlie's Korner

"I've been tired lately, is that a problem?"
"Yea tired- it is a problem, tired- LOSING!"

"Yea man I'm kinda busy right now (...) okay love ya [hangs phone] He's like hey man I'm watching you right now, I'm like of course you are, who isn't"

Today i got:

-Lilac hearts confetti
-Black ribbon (for ponytails. I have a vision)
-And a buddhist prayer deck because i'm a buddhist, i pray, and also i'm a sucker for decks

See even when you don't need anything you can find things that are essential to your life

That sounded like a buddhist fail.

EDIT: I've also gotten a theravada meditations book. I wanna shoot someone right now, but instead I'm gonna read this nice meditations book while his karma rots.

Sent from my iPhone

Water Bottle Party

Aha. I found y'all

How do i end up with these clusters of water bottles in my living room?

Sent from my iPhone

These guys are throwing a party in my living room

I wonder what they're talking about

Highest rated comment

hahah took me a moment to get it

Funny the contacts i have in my speed dial

My ex
My mom
The taxi minicab company
999
And my waxing place!

And those are the real urgent numbers for me, apparently. I'd be curious to know who you guys have

Sent from my iPhone

This is how i write chords

None of that one-letter crap. Proper drawings!

Oh my god Victoria, I had Not seen this video!! i love you : P

She Loves You

 

Today was such a good day, until this guy asked me out, then got really pissed off and got me in a foul mood. and now i feel guilty and horrible

The Beatles always save me from the darkness

Shelovesyou

 

 

was my new profile picture not clue enough : P

 

I wanna punch that Bbm6 on the face

Sent from my iPhone

I was looking for ideas on how to close an email to a doctor without being too rigid. Something along the lines of Hugs, or Kind Regards...So I clicked on this website which looked really promising:


List of Online Goodbyes Used to Sign off an E-mail
Writers have more flexibility in the endings they use for e-mails than in written letters.

Awesome, just what I need.

    •    Be good/well
    •    Cheerio
    •    Cheers
    •    I’m out
    •    More to come
    •    Smiles
    •    Ta ta for now
    •    Take care
    •    Take it easy
    •    Until next time

I think "More to come" is my favourite hahaha...!

But I'll give anyone a fiver if you use "I'm out" and videotape the doctor's expression

Kids nowadays..!

(this was sent to my neighbour. I couldn't resist. We DO have the mail on the same pile, not like i was snooping)

Can Opener

I thought this was the funniest thing ever when he goes and opens the tuna

 

 

This was posted on a photographer's page

  Click to expand

Carlota (my sister): "Diana you look like you're still waiting for me to take the dog out"

my friend signed up on a dating website

They are really funny. So I've done my research, and I've taken the time to compile a perfect dating profile template.

You can now virtually use it for anything and everything, I'd even go as far as saying - doesn't this make a great Personal Statement for your CV? Be creative! New to town? Slap it on your front door and get acquainted with your neighbours!

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hiya i'm new to this whole internet dating thing but my friend told me about this site after i'd been in a bad breakup and it's been several months so...nothing to lose! wow I don't know what to write here I'm not one to talk about myself, is it even possible to describe oneself in a box?

i'm a nice kind, honest easygoing young guy I like to relax and chill enjoying a variety of activities and even discussion on general topics or just anything that opens the mind. I am trustworthy, reliable, and I've been told I am certainly attractive. I don't take myself too seriously and like laughing at myself, life's too short lol I can't stop laughing !

Id like to meet a nice, happy genuine girl (looks are not important but it certanly helps. NO PIC NO REPLY i could be talking with my high school teacher here who nows) and who is up for a laugh. Someone who is a special girl, bombshell on the outside, sweet and caring and independant, who has some direction in her life and nows what she wants but who will still wants to share life experiences with someone. Someone

On my ideal date i would take my lady somewhere fun but informal and chilledso we can get to now each other and have a laugh and then who nows, there's no point if we can't talk! A lady who can hold her part of the conversation would be nice, no point if we're not talking

THings I enjoy doing are: looking at the stars, going out and having a good time, playing tennis, cooking (I´ve been told I have conquered the tomato sauce-very tasty!), spending time in front of the TV. I'm into cars, I mean everything from classics to modern day supercars.... none of your 'chav' Corsa's though thanks, that's just not my style, I prefer something with a bit more class!) ;)

Things i have NO interest in:
- Obese women. Please don't write to tell me that I hurt your feelings because your dad is obese. ALL women with obese genes in there families just iGNORE this profile.`
- Women who complain that "they can't read my mind". Well if you can't read my mind maybe you're not meant to read it!

Favorite movie: Anything by Megan Fox,

Favorite books: Sophie's World.

If you like what you see why not get back to me and well take it from there. Anything else you wanna now , "just ASK!"

[LittleTony34 photo, photo caption reads "me drunk in my birthday Mallorca 08 Yes i am a large guy but I am who i am"]

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How to murder a carton of juice

By peter the great. Found the crime scene in the kitchen

Because frozen juice is annoying

me and Alex

We're having a Chai Tea Latte in Starbucks

About education. SO GOOD

best question in Yahoo Answers

- Is there really someone out there for everyone?

What I've learnt about boys (in progress) with the help of my 12 year old cousin

Men are twelve and so are women and we never change.

Therefore and because I was never raised with male children, I am researching to understand what's going on in my boyfriend's heads.

My little cousin is a great example of a regular, confident alpha male. I have approached the subject in several circumstances, and noted down his reactions.

The Phone
He wants to have one and he loves the games but he doesn't like using it to talk. Subject is tense, forced, shy/moody, gets distracted. Doesn't want to talk about his day. Says bye.

Also, he never calls me back when I ask him to. It makes me really upset but he doesn't give it any importance

Meet Ups
He doesn't respond to plans suggestions by myself, but then I'm told by his mom that he constantly asks her when she'll take him to see me. Hypothesis - He doesn't want me to know that he wants to see me. But why?? Mixed signals

Activities together
He invites me to go play videogames in his room. Appears uninterested in going to the park for a picnic

Physical Approach
Subject is hugely responsive in person, and is fascinated by my boobies (and those of other people) and tries to touch my bum. Super inappropriate out in public.

Sometimes in the middle of a conversation, he gets bored stands up and leaves the room.

Holding Hands
Only if we're crossing the street

Eccentricities
Demands I accompany him to the toilet when we're out. (Thankfully grown men don't do this)

Presents
I've never gotten anything from him. He doesn't know when my birthday is

Sleepovers
He's quite happy to sleep at mine, and particularly interested in sleeping in my bed

Kissing
Never wants to kiss me hello or goodbye, and never in front of other people. I have to force him a kiss on the cheek. When obliged, seems happy enough...MIXED SIGNALS

Communication of emotions
When asked if he loves me, he says "of course not" and laughs

Favorite topics of conversation
Girls, models, sex, my boyfriends and that they look gay, war, weapons, being a virgin or not, sports, mobile phones and computers

Surprise bragging
Randomly throws "I have the biggest willy in my class" into the conversation

TV
It must be on. Likes eating in front of it. Leaves the dirty plate around, somewhere.

"Today, I was questioned about a request for a restraining order filed against me by an old woman. According to the report, she's seen me "walking near her house and waving at her" for the last two months. I've been her next-door neighbor for a year and a half."

www.fmylife.com

Dude, Google knows exactly what I'm looking for

 

No results were found for "I'm through with love" song title.

Similar titles are listed below:

"Thou shalt break them with a rod of iron" by Handel

ha hahahaha

haha, Starbucks suggestions from customers:

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Why is Starbucks discontinuing keeping decaf coffee brewed in the afternoon (one can request it to be brewed and wait forever). People who are concerned about caffeine intact want decaf in the afternoon & evening; NOT IN THE AM. Whoever made this decision must have been half asleep (drank decaf in the AM).

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WHY IS IT THAT ALL THE STARBUCK'S IN THE PHILLY AREA WILL NOT MAKE A NEW POT OF BOLD COFFEE IN THE MORNING UNTIL YOU RUN OUT? CONSISTANTLY I AM ASKED TO WAIT OR JUST LEAVE BECAUSE YOU RUN OUT OF COFFEE. IS IT TO MUCH TO ASK A COFFEE COMPANY TO HAVE COFFEE ALWAYS AVAILABLE FOR THE MORNING RUSH HOUR????

DUNKIN DONUTS CAN DO IT

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I CAN ONLY GET TOILET WATER PIKES PEAK COFFEE IN STARBUCKS AND IM IN NYC

STOP THE PIKES PLACE MOVEMENT!!!!

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I am wondering if you might carry Organic Rice Milk

----------------

Google stats this year show an increase in the number of men who have searched

"When is valentine's day?"

hahaha!

so good!

I just found a lady bird in my panties!

This is a facebook status moment

UPDATE: I found two more ladybirds in my panties over the following weeks. Then I found one in my lingerie drawer. Apparently it's my bf's fault, who's living with me and he says ladybirds follow him everywhere. Which is a rather peculiar idea but...yea

I just got a phone call saying they're particularly interested in me inviting me to audition in NY as
Paris Hilton new BFF.

This is hilarious!!

Omg omg omg!

This girl writes snippets of senior citizen erotica when she's bored. SO FUNNY

Wilfred took a moment to appreciate Marge's shapely legs, thinking to himself that her support hose and orthopedic shoes only enhanced her feminine curves.
''Are those new slacks'' Marge quietly asked Wilfred, looking him up and down ''What?'' ''I said Are those new slacks?'' '' I forgot my hearing aid today darling'' Marge smiled coyly and announced ''I forgot my denture today''

christmas lunch small talk

Mom - That way you'd find a responsible, well brought up spanish guy looking to form a family

Carlota - Mom, Diana likes thrill and adventure

Diana - Thank you

 

Cousin #1 male, 11 years old - Would you like to go for a drink sometime?

Diana - Of course. What did you have in mind?

Cousin #1 male, 11 years old - Starbucks?

Aunt - That hat reminds me of something

Diana - Gatsby! I'm slowly turning into Daisy have you noticed

My sister's Christmas & More list, written on her whiteboard (excerpt)

- Agatha earrings
- Black leather skirt
- Brown Hairs
- White Hairs
- Christmas Presents
- Sequined top Mango
- First line St.Tropez condo
- Olay facewash

best. ad. ever

"Choose any card design from pig to patriotic and get over 2.500 in spending power for your personalised design!
* Actual pig not included"

 

this girl is amazing!

best. song. ever

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vuqp77omKRA

The lyrics:

Sometimes i go to the supermarket
and i buy a banana
banana! feed the banana to my monkey
and my monkey goes to feed its children
that live in my attic
then the children eat their food
and i play with pigs in a pig
because that's what i do
and sometimes i like to chew on gum
gum is yummy. is good. yummy gum
gum gum gum


hahahahah

best ad ever

"Overly relaxed house & very well positioned. Virgin & Fitness First, Sainsburys & Tescos all 1 block away. The flat is above a shop so you're right in the thick of Upper Street. Also up the road is Shoreditch, Hoxton & heaps of buses across the road going everywhere you want to be going. If you want to have fun in London this is your house.

Both flatmates are male, late 20's, have serious jobs with Mon-Fri hours, but are relaxed guys. Gym, pub, nights in watching tv, are pretty common, though I am hardly home myself most of the time. "

 

haha YES!!

this is the flat for me.

 

wow

heidi klum knows how to do Halloween

 

 

she's so funny!

I don't want babies, I want an 8 year old

[8 year old cousin (female) enters my sister's bedroom and tells me]
- She places all her dolls on the top shelf so i can't play with them. She doesn't realise they're gonna take suicide one of these days

[speaking about her end of year party]
- You better come back from London for the dinner. And you can bring like, your boyfriends and ex boyfriends
- My ex boyfriends too?
- Well not to the dinner, maybe to the afterparty
- What about your boyfriends, will they be there?
- Diana I'm only eight, I don't really need a boyfriend just yet

[speaking of boyfriends]
- there was this boy...when we went on holiday this Summer. His name was Jim and he was foreign
- Sexy.
- yea he was cute. I didn't understand him but i liked how he pronounced my name

She's fab!

YouTube Brainstorming

Alright, my YouTube Insight has spoken. As a good entertainer I must now adapt to my demographic fanbase (guys 45-54 and women over 63) and will be choosing two directions. My next videos will include:

1. Me half naked dressed up as a 15 year old schoolgirl in Size 4 dresses, singing faintly. idea: Possibly oiled up?
2. Me having 5 o'clock tea while discussing the wonders of homemade pastries, L'Artisan perfumes, Farrow & Ball paints and Colefax and Fowler curtains