Adventures of Barbarella

The 54cm waist trousers: Herve Leger

I hate writing descriptive titles but for the purpose of google search i do...I know how irritating it is for me to never find what I'm looking for because the title is so poetic.

As you might have heard, I have a really big issue with waists. Nothing is ever produced smaller than a 62cm (66 being the "average" for the smallest clothing size, in my experience. Which is crazy). Not good enough.

Well well look what I found. Female clothes with a female shape! A rarity. These pants are 55cm on the waist laid flat, though they do stretch of course, they have stretchy bandages in the corset area. I can pull in my tummy to 55 but rest assured I don't walk around that way, and these are super comfortable. They also have enough space for my bottom! Incredible.

The moment you try clothes that have a good fit, you realise just how unflattering 99% of the clothes you own are. They become totally irrelevant. I have to keep reminding myself of this. I should never have to "think" about what I'm  trying on. When it's a wow, it's immediately obvious. Everything else is not worth the wardrobe space, period.

Having said this, it's a good idea to steer clear of things you could never in a million years afford- because well-fitting clothes are dangerously persuasive.


QUOTE OF THE DAY

- Look at these! These actually FIT me! isn't that amazing. Just out of this world
- Yea. You know I bet there's a lot of women who don't find clothes in their waist size. You could be the ambassador for those women
- What do you mean. Of course I am the ambassador for those women. I'm gonna write about this right away, we're gonna write a manifesto






Aren't they wonderful! They make me look like a mermaid. (If there's one thing you always want to look like, like a mermaid is it)

PS- No, I don't plan to wear them with a ribbed tank top.

Girls with bottoms

This is entirely a complaint.

I fail to understand why female clothes are in their majority cut in the shape of a stick.

Take this skirt for instance:




It made me so furious I swear I had smoke coming out of my nose. Insert current facebook status:






It's not even a size 0, it's just a size stupid. And they dared call it "true to size"! True to what size? a child with a beer belly? I realise we all come in different shapes, but if we're gonna choose a standard figure to make our clothes on, can we choose a suitable 90-60-90?? If anything, a shapely dress sculpts you for the better. A dress with no shape will look bad in fatties, skinnies and sticks alike.

ITS NOT ASTROPHYSICS!

I am so fed up I'm starting a category dedicated to hips.

Plead to jean designers

My hips don't fit in your 24 size. When they do, the pants are huge on the legs. I don't have fat legs and don't want to, either. So please...less fabric for the legs, more fabric for my bum.

Thank you.

xoxo

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Dear high-waist-jeans makers,

I have NEVER been able to buy one of your jeans. My waist-hip ratio is the one thing I like about myself. So please, less fabric on the waist, and more fabric for my hips.

xoxo

Diana