Adventures of Barbarella

quote of the day: Proof that you can never be too obvious

By Philip:

"A girl came up to me today and asked me to have a coffee with her. So sad, I was in such a rush I totally missed the sign!"

today

-Excuse me. I just wanna ask you something
Excuse me, please
Where do you come from?
You're really pretty

[shouting from the back. I was in such a rush i just couldn't stop. I did say thank you of course. I'm very friendly, i always do. he was funny]

- I'LL GIVE YOU ANYTHING YOU WANT! I GOT IT!

White, late thirties/early fourties, Kensington

It was only a matter of time

- Hey excuse me. I just saw you walking and I thought-
- Hey. I know you, you stopped me the other day in Carnaby street
- Oh did I. Well, you're hard to remember, you were wearing different clothes
- I guess so
- So how are you

From now on, this is my friend Yad

Three different cars stopped in a main road today, to compliment me on my...

...sunglasses!


- Hey honey. I love your shades you are hot

British, late twenties

- Nice pair of glasses darling

British, white, early thirties, out of london accent

- Those sunglasses are sexy

Indian-ish, late twenties



I emphatically recommend these glasses

- Hey excuse me
D- Hey. We know each other. You always stop me
- Aah really. How are you?
- I'm good!
- Listen I'm gonna invite you to this session
- You always do
- You can bring a friend. Boyfriend, girlfriend, me
- I'll bring you
- Yea haha. How's your boyfriend?
- Yea he's good!
- Where was he from?
- South asian actually, he's tan like you
- Oh good. Does he wanna come to the session?
- No he hides from cameras
- Oh okay. See you there then
- Yea see you

"Excuse me. I just saw you walking from behind and I had to say something, and I had to stop you. I noticed you have this wonderful... petite figure and this whole look, and I thought you looked very french.

I was expecting a strong french accent. But you don't have an accent, where are you from?"

Early thirties, British, white, Oxford Street

Courting Rituals

Welcome to a new feature. This is going to be *all* about people who stop you in the middle of the street. I am confident that I'm gonna get a lot of material for this section, because I tend to. My mom thinks it's because I look "like a strange little girl". My ex thinks it's because I am "particularly small" and "a perv magnet". I am very flattered by both of these reasonings, but whatever you choose to believe- it doesn't matter. I just think it's really sweet that guys have the balls to do it.

Today! Today's prize goes to the guy who said:

*running steps*
- Excuse me! I just saw you walking down...My friend really fancies you. And it's my birthday today! Would you like to have some drinks with us?

Kensington. Late twenties, white, british.

Too ambitious facebook message of the day

Dave: Can i ask u a question?

Diana: yes

Dave: can I make love to you ? Serious. I pay travel, hotel room, all expenses. 

Dave: Is it impossible?

Diana: it is impossible.

Dave: shit

- So the way you're wearing these, it means you're sexual, and bossy.
D- I hate you. I'm putting all my rings on my "conflict" finger.

"I can't stop looking at them.

I just wanna have sex with your trousers"

Can always count on truck drivers to shout obscene comments at me so all passer-bys can turn around and take a look

Today I was asked out by a 12 year old. Cutest thing ever.

[At McDonals. Boy in a school uniform]- Hey you're so pretty. I'll pay for the burger. I'll get her burger, sir

love bf's bathroom wall!

 

Sent from my iPhone

this is the only thing I'd do right now

 

So who's his current publicist.

 

"I better not love you. It will be cheaper" F. C.

Spotted. Update

Sun-greeting guy came over to my towel to chat and asked me out! oh my god.

my parents have seen my date's penis

^This message was sent from a BlackBerry device

Spotted

Nudist guy with the huge willy does a double greeting to the sun as he goes into the water but never gets quite in. Been standing there for 30 minutes, and still standing! Would take a photo if he weren't turning staring at me the whole time

 

^This message was sent from a BlackBerry device